Life has a way of forcing us to grow, stretch perhaps even grow up. This weekend for me has been one filled with tears, fear of loss of my best friend, fear of loss of a future I was just beginning to believe in. Today on Sunday the final day of the weekend, I am starting to come to terms with what I have always known, but fear and pain often cloud good judgement. I have always known, that there are no guarantees, that if things are meant to be they will be, if I trust that then I must trust that decisions made by my friend and I will be the right ones, even if it means the loss of what I had before. In fact the loss of what I had before is a guarantee, because no matter what decisions we will make individually we will not have what we had before there will be changes, there will be differences in how we see each other and our friendship. I have learned something about myself, Life is forcing me to change, these changes will be good ones I will learn more about coping with issues from my past, and I have been reminded of what is important.

Family is important, good friends are important, truth is ultimately important, having a heart that is open to love is important, getting beyond fear is important, walking bravely through pain is important, I am important. And I am important enough to be cared for, to be loved, to be respected. So in that then I have realized that being respected for me means being with someone who will share that I am in their life with their friends and family, be proud that I am in their life, be a part of my life willingly and to discuss life decisions that affect me, with me. Perhaps I will send that out into the universe and see what pops up. ah,, there it is.. out there.. now give me direction to lead me there.

Church today was about service to others, so I oferred to help with the Sunday School today the children were baking and some adult helpers were required. The children were baking for others, each child made a crescent to give to another child as a way to learn about service to others. But something struck me as I helped, for me service to others is easy, helping out comes naturally and I enjoy providing service to others.. but I often do a disservice to myself by not listening to my own inner voice and giving credence to what I need. That too must change.



So the day is half over,, we are going sledding to the hill,, my focus is changing back to doing things for myself, for being with those who I love and who I know love me.. my friends and my family.